This bloke is destined to become a Hero of the Modern World purely because of his hidden stamina. He looks funny with that big fluffy hat on his head and he stands there for hours, he doesn’t move an inch. I’ve watched him. It’s great he doesn’t even show that he’s in pain or anything, perfectly straight he is. I could never do that, I’d get bored or have to bend my legs a bit or maybe jog on the spot or something.
He doesn’t get bored at all, despite the fact that he doesn’t move his head or look at anything in particular, I mean you’d think he’d get annoyed looking down the mall at gawping tourists all day, but he doesn’t show it. Then after a while this other bloke comes along to take his place, and he goes off and does marching and other stuff like polishing. Also, when they’re standing there, they’re not allowed to move no matter what happens really. If you touch them, they can react, and they must all be pretty hard so I wouldn’t advise it. If you don’t touch them however, you are absolutely fine. Throwing stuff is probably out as well, but you can call them names, dance around, pull faces, anything really. It’s great.
The really great bit, and the true essence toward his nomination for modern hero status is the sheer pointlessness of his activity. He essentially has no real purpose at all. If something ever really needs guarding, protecting or looking after, then some other bloke will come along and do that. If a crazy weirdo starts climbing the gates, he will just stand there and another soldier will come along and sort it out. He is there for show, and that show requires doing absolutely nothing. People slag off reality telly stars for getting famous for doing nothing but these guys really do nothing, and they do it really well. They are world famous and deserve all the fame they get. Well done them.
