Ermentrude awoke gasping at her sorry state – her party crazed feeling had now left her worse for wear. She longed for the green green grass of home, but work was work and she had a job to do. As she arrived in the office the trees looked a little shady and Denzil was stern.
“We had a call from Inspector Smelty,” claimed Denzil in a sterile manner, “Blue Angel is down south lifting the wart hogs.”
“Dagnammit!” exclaimed Ermentrude, Get me a stiff Bourbon and a baguette, and hold all my calls.” Five minutes later Ermentrude was speeding down the freeway. She knew it was going to be a tough morning.
“I’ll quit tomorrow, ” she murmured as she popped another valium.
As she entered the blood-soaked warehouse Smelty was waiting for her, candle in hand. “Thank God you’re here Ermentrude, we’ve just opened a whole can of worms.”
“I don’t eat worms, got any grass?”
“Let’s keep this professional, this is high profile, the President is eating my butt! Aah! I ain’t got nothing to sit on.”
“Dagnammit, I gotta hunch.”
“I know a good spinal masseur,” said Smelty. “But let’s get down to business, my people need to talk to your people to get their people right down to our people. Got it?”
“I got it,” replied Ermentrude, chewing the cud.
“Get off,” said the cud.
“Where has all the water gone?” asked the cod.
“Did anyone order a cab?” said the cud.
“Where to?” asked Ermentrude.
To be continued…
by Joshua