In that really laddish football song “You’ll Never Walk Alone,” Gerry Marsden, the singer, advises the listeners “When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high” however as lightening always strikes protruding objects, not only is this advice wrong, but it is also potentially fatal. Mr Marsden and his gullible fans would do well to note that in stormy conditions it is best to present as small a surface area as possible to the atmosphere, crouch close to the ground in the open, away from trees and other large objects. Whilst on the subject of avoidable accidents, the next time you have a family gathering such as a wedding or birthday party, ensure that you do not invite Angela Lansbury, if she does turn up, call the police immediately. Once again on the theme of avoiding fatalities, Star Trek captains, when your ship is in immediate danger of being destroyed, save a great deal of hassle, by thinking of the very last thing you could possibly try – which might just work, and do that first. Trust me it’ll work.
The Big D
